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Retrograde Re-introduced

Updated: Apr 27, 2023

Hey Moonlovers,

I thought I’d take some time to re-introduce myself here as Mercury is currently Retrograde, which is a really good time to re-everything, especially regarding communication! I’ll give you the brief version here and if you’re intrigued to know the truth of it all then I’ve attached the link to my blog page here. I believe it’s useful, especially if you are new to running your own business, to hear others stories and journeys of self-discovery…  

I’ve been a member of Winning Women Network for 5 years now. I joined at a major turning point in my life, which seems to be a common thread for so many of us in this heart-centred group. I was grieving the traumatic and sudden loss of my Dad, Pete, my rock and constant supporter, I was recovering from emergency surgery and to top it off menopause had kicked in. During all of this I was realising that my business of 16 years, Hummingbird Pilates & Yoga studio, was no longer fulfilling my soul. I had felt trapped with no easy or obvious way out and so what I see as divine intervention, came in and blew a hole in my wall to free me. But like any death and rebirth, it has been a long and incredibly dark night of the soul to where I’m currently at and I’m not sure I would have got through it all without Rosemary and her tribe. 

In case you’re wondering, after my initial career in theatre as a dancer wasn’t providing me a stable income, I started my own little Pilates and Yoga studio in 2002.  Mostly because I’m a typical Cancerian with a Sagittarius ascendant, the need for my own cosy shell to work from where I could nurture others and have an adventure full of self-discovery. I had no business plan, just a strong desire to share my passion without the restriction of other people’s opinions and all the bitching and jealousy that was prevalent in these industries. From day one it took off, not without challenges but it seemed I’d found my calling. I rapidly went from 1 to 23 classes a week and 8 years, 4 premises and a divorce later, I had a business partner, 10 teachers, 2 studios and 2 therapy rooms and a hell of a lot of responsibility! 

Mostly I loved it so much it never felt that way, but over time my dedication to my career and my over-giving to everyone involved meant that myself and my life outside of Hummingbird was extremely neglected. So in 2016 I got my #selfloveplanunderway! This resulted in me feeling so amazing I had to share and The Selflove Club was born. I finally had something of my own again, something that I could take on tour and I started to get speaking gigs, guest presenter workshops and even on the same lineup as Deepak Chopra in L.A.! I put my prices up to match my increased sense of selfworth and I was truly tasting the nectar for a while. 

But Hummingbirds don’t do cages and underneath all of this, I felt trapped in my business relationship, controlled and restricted, like Saturn versus Uranus! My fear of being resented was just ending up with me feeling resentful. It seemed as though everyone else was happy with the way things were so it was me who had to go and with that, life turned upside down and the cage door opened. 

I had returned to work far too soon after losing my Dad, and just before he passed on, after 12 years of being mostly single, I met Tom,16 years younger than me but 5 years in, he’s still here, regardless of the challenges. All I wanted to do at that time was stop, take a sabbatical and find out who I was without Hummingbird. So after much negotiation, resentment-avoiding and training 5 different people up to cover my absence, I was 2 weeks away from my 3 months off. The GDPR deadline was imminent and I was realising I was never going to be free from the burden of responsibility, I heard myself saying, “oh well, I suppose some things will carry over into my sabbatical time..” and then my appendix perforated. I never went back to my own business again. 

8 weeks after surgery, I was in New York, doing my advanced Strala Yoga training for a month. I felt so vulnerable when I arrived there but somehow I knew I’d be different when I left. After a Total Lunar eclipse during a heatwave, next to Mars and square to Uranus, I experienced an outer body experience after a particularly intense and sweaty yoga  session. I was lying in Savasana when I felt this deeply blissful sensation and the overwhelming sense of unconditional love, I knew it was my Dad there with me. When I finally sat up, in a room full of 30 yoga teachers, the tears came like the biblical rain storm outside. I went and sat in the park until the tears subsided, I walked back to Strala Yoga studio and announced I would be selling my 2/3rd share of Hummingbird on my return to the UK. 

As with all things that are meant to be, on the day of Samhain, with a £100 left in my bank account, (yes my business partner had stopped paying me after my announcement), the money from the sale of my business and my Dad’s house, all landed in bank account at once. I was set free from the birdcage but like most paths to freedom, it takes courage, some sacrifice and death of the ego. Enter left side menopause, thank the lord for Winning Women! 

I had these grand ideas about running Selflove Clubs, teaching workshops and retreats and maybe some one to one’s, but to be honest I just needed some time out to recover, so whatever I started didn’t really work out as the desire just wasn't there. I didn’t need the money so it had to come from a belly full of passion, not a body full of crazy hormones! But this is where Winning Women was my saviour, there was someone who could pretty much help me with everything I needed support with, from hormones, to my mental health, to my finances. My Mum lives in Australia, so it’s always been difficult for her to be there for me and I’d got well practised at dealing with things by myself. My advanced Strala Yoga training was all about learning to lean, not be leant on, to notice how you feel, to believe in a better way of being yourself. 

And that’s what I’ve been practising for the past 5 years because as soon as I thought I was ready to get serious about working again, the world changed overnight and suddenly everyone was at home. This paved the way for my passion for All Things Moon and lunar witchery to evolve and now I can alchemise all that parts of me into something better and help guide others to do the same. 

Jumping forwards to the present moment, (which as we know is all there actually is!), I'm best known for my love of ‘All Things Moon’. I hold Moon Ceremonies online, every New and Full Moon, I guide Strala Yoga for Goddesses and sometimes combine all this together through workshops and retreats. I can give you a Moonology reading, spiritual lifestyle guidance and love to do journaling with oracle cards. I live with my partner of nearly 6 years, Tom, and collectively we are known as ‘Gong to the Moon’, holding Sound Healing sessions with planetary gongs, crystal singing bowls and other cosmic sounds. I’m also a part-time gardener as that’s Tom’s business and we make magical medicinal potions from herbs we grow and forage. We have 2 ginger furbabies, Indie and Sydney, 2 geckos, Pablo and Augustus and 2 terrapins, Darwin and Dorothy! We have a campervan called Little Moon, (born out of lockdown), and we’ll be taking her to some festivals this year to sell our wares and expand consciousness with sound. 

Of course I’m still a student of life and all its lessons but I’m a fast learner and a keen experimenter on behalf of mankind! I hope my summarised story thus far has served you in some way and if you feel called to work with me in some way just message me and we can chat over a herbal brew… 

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